Change Your Life With Just One Question

I sat in my office listening to a client talk about his usual topics: watching television and taking care of his elderly parents. He was doing well in his drug recovery, so I decided to “redirect” him with a simple question.

“What do you want?”


“What do you want?” I repeated.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re doing well with your recovery and lately you’ve come in here to talk about The History Channel or the news. What do you really want in life?”

“You’ve never asked me that before…”

“I’m sorry if it seems sudden, but I ask again: What do you want?”

He knew immediately. “I want what you have: I want a wife and a child. I want to be married.”

“How long have you had this desire to be married?”

“Since I was seventeen.”

“You’ve had the desire to be married since you were seventeen, yet the energy you are spending toward this goal involves watching The History Channel for four hours a day? Are you working towards becoming a husband or a history teacher?”

“Oh, I never thought of it that way. But what do you want me to do—walk into a bar and start hitting on people?”

I then explained to him that the achievement of our dreams begins first with getting clear about what we want, and making this mental vision as specific as possible. I therefore asked him, “What is she like?”


“The person you plan to marry. What is she like? Her personality…”

“Oh, I never thought about that.”

“Would you like some direction on how to achieve your dream of being married to the Love of Your Life?”

“Why yes, of course!”

“When I asked you about working toward your goal, you thought of going into a bar. What would be better is time spent shaping your goals and dreams. Think of the personality traits of the kind of person you would like to marry and write them down. Once you do that, ask yourself this question: Do I have these qualities myself? Because here’s the secret…”

He leaned over intently.

“…You attract to yourself the kind of person that you are.”

Many of us are like this client. We know what we want, but spend most of our time doing things that do not work towards achieving those goals and dreams. Or we spend our time complaining, which is focused on what we don’t want.

The laws that govern this Universe are very specific, so it is best to use the power of your thoughts to paint a clear picture of exactly what you want in life. Write down your list of goals, then daydream your future, bringing up all of the excitement that goes with it. Because everything you see in this world, especially everything that humankind has created, began first with a single thought.

Writing from my core,



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