The No. 1 Instruction Manual For Living The Life Of Your Dreams

WATCH CHILDREN PLAY

My 7-year old daughter Sofie has commandeered a large cardboard box in our basement. It once housed a large appliance (I think it was for our washing machine), but in the months that she’s been playing with it, I’ve seen it become a boat, a house, a hair salon, a car, and a retail store. It’s now mostly in tatters and parts as she cut it apart more and more each time she found a new use for it.

Many times adults complain, “I wish I was given a proper instruction manual for living life!” We were, in the form of children playing.

When my daughter role-plays, she first becomes inspired, either by something she’s seen or she just has a compelling idea in her head. But then without too much planning, she springs into action and begins creating by inspiration. She pulls at the box to make walls. She asks me to cut holes for a window or a seat for the car (she became particularly inspired after watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang). She then grabs her crayons and draws in the rest of the storefront or roof for her house. After she has created the new idea, she begins talking and acting like a hair stylist, a storeowner, a boat captain, etc. She allows the inspired role-play to change her behavior and she asks me, her mother or her friend to join her in the make-believe. I have to admit I was hesitant when she asked me to be her first customer at the hair salon, but luckily she didn’t use scissors.

One time she asked me to be the audience for a circus show she and her friend had created. The main performance was mainly the both of them learning how to use a hula-hoop. As an adult, I could say it was quite sloppy and may have pointed out where she needed to improve her technique to be “helpful”. But that was not the point. Seeing her laugh and feeling the sheer fun of the moment was the point.

As adults, many of use have forgotten the point of living because we’ve become so attached to the details of our own role-play we’ve attracted to ourselves. And the more we say “This is not a game!” or “This is a matter of life and death!” or “This is my home that I’ve worked so hard for!” the more we squelch the joy of living fully in the moment and resign ourselves to having fun only during vacations.

You may say this instruction manual is unrealistic, that without hard work and attention to detail, you’ll never get ahead in this life. Many people believe this, and while those people may be financially successful, they may also have lost the ability to be generally happy and satisfied.

But there is the way shown by our children, in which one can be successful and live the life of their dreams because there is fun to be had. And if you think you can’t make any money playing, when multi-billionaire Richard Branson, CEO of the Virgin Music, thought of starting an airline, his staff disagreed. He then said “They weren’t happy with the word ‘fun’.  To them, business was serious, It is. But, to me, having fun matters more.”

While in the middle of the circus performance, her friend had to leave for dinner. As quick as a wink my daughter dropped what they had created, not attached at all to the outcome. She would wake up the next day to re-create herself all over again.

Recovery Vortex Principle: Unconditional Love Is Your Birthright

In the end there is only one being who can truly show you the experience of unconditional love, God. And there is only one person whom God works through to show it to you: yourself. If you don’t believe in God, that’s fine. Reframe it this way: the only person who can show you true Unconditional Love is yourself. True Unconditional Love of Self is God working through you. That is it.

Everything else, even the love of a mother for her child is not equal in comparison. Parental love of children is the closest comparison but it still falls short. Why is this? Because human beings can never be devoid of their ego, the part of people that judges in order to survive.

Feel the love that Source has for you. Understand it completely. Know that there is nothing that you can do to have it taken away, otherwise it would be conditional. Why? Because it is not something that is taken away. Unconditional Love is ALWAYS there, but we block ourselves from feeling it with our judgmental thinking, especially judgments about ourselves.

God loves you unconditionally. He loves murderers, rapists, abusers, all of them. Again, God loves everything unconditionally. Everything: the destruction of the rainforest, serial killers, Adolf Hitler, nuclear waste, war. Every single thing that humans can judge is not judged by God. It is loved. Why? Because God made this universe perfect and complete within itself. If it wasn’t meant to be under God, it would not exist. Think about that carefully. If God didn’t love something, then it wasn’t meant to be and therefore it would not exist.

Do you honestly believe that God’s love is not greater than the judgments of the human ego? God’s unconditional love is greater than anything a human ego could comprehend. And when you truly feel it and experience it, your life is transformed.

God knows that at our core, we are Unconditional Love ourselves. We used to know this, but now the great majority of human beings believe that at our core, human beings are evil, bad, or prone to hurt or take advantage of others. This is not true. At our core we are connected to God and that connection is Love itself.

But enough talking and reading about it. Words only show us the direction, but you have to go there to truly experience it. Go there, now and always.

The Real Reason Behind Your Desire For Abstinence

If someone were to ask you, “Why do you want to get sober?” Typical answers may be:

– Because I’m cheating on my wife
– Because I’m spending a lot money
– Because it’s controlling my life
– Because I’m going to get arrested one day
– Because I’m going to get an STD
– Because it’s just wrong

All of the above reasons may be true. But they really don’t tell me exactly why you want to be sober. Actually, continually focusing on those reasons may ensure these problems remain in your life.

Why? Simply because you’re continually focusing on them, and by Law of Attraction, you will continue to draw these problems to you. It is similar to the football team who plays not to lose rather than playing to win; losing is on their mind.

So let me reframe the question: How do you think you’re going to feel when you’ve stopped doing this behavior?

– better?
– relieved?
– good?
– overjoyed?

And that is the real reason behind your desire for abstinence. Because you believe you will feel better in the having of it. It is the real reason behind all of your desires: finding true love, getting large amounts of money, eating good food, etc.

So what then, is the real reason then that you feel so bad after you engage in your acting out behavior, be it pornography, prostitutes, affairs, etc? Because afterwards you’ve judged what you’ve done as bad or wrong, which causes you to feel terrible anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, and self-loathing. Here’s the secret: It is  really not the specific behavior that makes you feel bad, it’s your judgment of that behavior.

I am not giving permission to engage in sexual acting out behavior. I am drawing attention to the idea that trying to stop any compulsive behavior by negatively judging it and then feeling terrible will not result in sustained change for most. It may lead one to an initial period of abstinence. But for many, trying to gain sobriety this way eventually leads to relapse or an inability to begin any satisfying period of abstinence at all. This is understandable, because you end up feeling bad, which makes the pleasure of the addiction all the more alluring. Do you see the never-ending cycle?

“Okay, Mike” you may say. “I see your point, but now what?!”

It seems counter-intuitive, but changing from negative judgment to acceptance will actually help in taking away the allure, the magnetism, and the cravings. Why? Because you’re not making the behavior such a taboo subject in your mind.

“But Mike! If I continue this behavior, my wife’s gonna leave me! I’m gonna get arrested!”

Look, if any continued acting out behavior will definitely lead to a more disastrous consequence for you, then yes, I do advocate for abstinence based treatment or programs. Understand though that using the energy of fear, anxiety and nervousness is not sustainable for most people. This is why the relapse rate for addicts, even with treatment is so high. But if that is not the case when you really analyze at the situation objectively and the only person who is making you feel bad is you, then you may want to consider changing your judgments about the behavior first. I guarantee you will feel better immediately.

As you’ve read this post, ask yourself and be honest (no one is watching!), did you feel nervous? self-righteous? or better? And as I’ve already said, feeling better is the real reason for wanting to be sober. Isn’t it?

Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Unconditional Love

The following is a dialogue between me and my Trusted Source brought out through centering and meditation, tapping into my intuitive self, the part of myself that knows all of the answers to all of the questions I have.  I then begin typing out the dialogue with faith, knowing that the feeling of love and calmness within is the sign that I am truly communicating with my Trusted Source. This written channeling technique is a similar process used by Neale Donald Walsch in writing Conversations With God.

Me: What is it like to see yourself through the eyes of Unconditional Love?

T Source: When you see yourself through the eyes of Unconditional Love, you see everything you do as perfect and complete. You never get anything wrong, because no thing is ever “wrong,” only further development of knowing, further development of what you want. You gain clarity.

Me: How about the Love part of Unconditional Love?

T Source: That is the Love part, having non-judgment about yourself, thoughts and actions, no matter what you do, is Love in it’s finest. To let yourself just be, to be there with yourself and smile, without judgment, is Love with no conditions.

Me: So what is it like to do it for yourself?
T Source:  Think about the times when you felt you were at your worst. As you think those thoughts maybe you feel embarrassment and humiliation, maybe you want to shake your head to shake it off. Think of all those times that you say to yourself, “I shouldn’t have done that!”

Should-ing is judgment, which leads to not allowing the full expression of Who You Are. You do not see the perfection of your unfolding. Now see and accept the purpose of these moments, go through them in your mind, and embrace them and yourself with Unconditional Love.

Me: I feel tension

T Source: Yes, because there is resistance to accepting. You still judge yourself and those actions.

Me: What do I do?

T Source: Simply accept and love that judging part of yourself as well. The purpose is not to get rid of your ego. You will never get rid of the ego, the part that judges, the part that needs to survive and creates systems of judgment because it believes survival is the goal.

Slowly begin to teach your ego that survival is not the goal, living to your full expression of Who You Really Are is the goal. Surviving is merely that, surviving. “Living To The Fullest” is more than surviving. It is what you came here to do.  Do you see how that works?

Me: Yes, I am embracing and holding the part of me that judges with love right now, and it feels good, peaceful. I picture this part as a younger version of me, maybe adolescence?

T Source: Yes, that part of you was taught that when you were younger. You felt you needed to internalize and use systems of judgment that others taught you because you needed to survive. And even that is okay. That is a part of your life that deserves Unconditional Love the most.

Me: But why am I learning this so late?

T Source: Are you?

Me: I’m 43-years old.

T Source:  Yes you are. But look at your experiences, all that you’ve done. Are you saying it should have been different?

Me: No, when I really think about it. No, not really. The only period I feel like I really kept myself in the dark was right before I learned about the Law of Attraction, and only at work. But that disconnect from Source really affected a lot of other parts of my life.

T Source: When you were desperate for financial success, you were looking outside yourself to feel better about the turmoil you created. But being connected to Source has better feelings of success and security attached to it.

You’ve said it yourself: “ Things working out and staying connected to Source are the same exact thing. And to not have it work out if you remain connected to Source is impossible.” The physical manifestations of success are not separate than your connection to Source. They are the same.

Me: Unconditional Love is staying in touch with Source then, and remaining committed to feeling peace and joy in my life. Is this correct?

T Source: Yes, committing to unconditionally loving yourself, to feeling that joy even after you’ve taken in the contrast of unwanted events – isn’t that a wonderful way to live life?

Me: Yes

T Source: Guidance, inspiration, intuition, and stretching out with your feelings of love. Love that is first directed at yourself, and then having faith at the outcome.  That is a wonderful way to let things unfold for you. That is why you became an artist, to practice your intuition before you decided to devote yourself to your connection to Source.

Me: I understand

T Source: So go and live your life with the operating principal of being in touch with your spiritual energetic Self, because that is Who You Really Are. That is seeing yourself through the eyes of Unconditional Love.